Honestly?
by ReWriter15
Summary: It'd been several months since Gajeel joined Fairy Tail, and the amount of members that still didn't trust him were, unsurprisingly, still high. Not that it mattered. But one member's gradual acceptance of his addition didn't sit well with him. Was it real or politeness? He was going to get to the bottom of this, even it meant ending this so called 'friendship'. T for language.


**Woah! Is this a new story after almost 7 years?**

 **I'm out of touch. But here we go.**

 **I do hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Honestly?

Was she really so nice to just forgive him, or was she so nice that she'd hide her true feelings in an attempt to accept his actions of redemption? Was her friendship a lie? No. Maybe not a lie, but it definitely could not be genuine as a whole. Was she just tolerating him, then? She had said before, that she held nothing against him. But he knew that she was still affected by what he did to her when they first met.

Every now and then, when she was startled or shocked, a hand would plaster itself to her stomach… Every now and then, she'd catch him glancing at her, and she'd flinch even though nothing had touched her. He never stared at her for long. Most of the time, he'd just stare around or over her. That in itself wasn't hard to do. But her vibrancy was too much to look past, and he'd eventually find himself looking at her. Just for a moment. And constantly bearing witness to the continuing negative effect he had on her was growing to be a pain.

Levy talked to him openly. She would invite him to sit with her whenever he walked by… He'll not deny that she was trying to accept him as a member, the same way he was trying to prove that he was no longer a threat to Fairy Tail; he was trying to be a dependable ally, but it was clear she was still haunted by the past. Of course, there's no way he could hold that against her. At the time, after all, he had aimed to make a memorable impression. He had wanted to leave deep scars.

How genuine were her smiles cast his way, he wondered? How honest was she, being in his company? Would she rather he left her alone? Not show up whenever she was in the guild? Gajeel was good at staying out of sight. But all of this was becoming a pain. Not only in the sense that, should another member of the guild notice her minute reactions to him, he'd be heatedly accused of having done something to her _again_ —but it was making it hard for him to take her positive efforts towards him seriously.

It isn't often you find someone, that you've broken down and made a humiliating example of, who you gradually grow to admire. Her determination surprised him. Levy was very consistent in her friendliness and respected his space. She wouldn't ask anything personal, just talk about the present, every so often throwing out something new she had learned.

It was commendable.

And it's almost impossible to hate someone like that. And should hate be found, it'd be a bitter and short-lived sort of hate. Really, it was like swatting a butterfly into a window, only to watch it slowly rise again and then land on your hand. Could you hate it and swat it again?

Her sweet kindness was exactly what helped him gradually become an official member of the guild. Just wearing the symbol wasn't enough. Becoming a part of the family was what made it official. And it was hard in the beginning. When he was confronted by Jet and Droy after he was declared a new member, she said that she held no grudge toward him. Gajeel had no doubt that the entire time Shadow Gear was waiting out for him, she was trying to convince her team partners to look past their anger and just put it behind them.

At first, he thought she was stupid to not react in the same way her team partners did. He would blatantly ignore the small smiles she sent his way whenever he saw her staring at him. But she was persistent. Whenever he caught her flinching, she'd cover it up quickly with a small grin. He thought it was pathetic at first. Why make the effort? Why try and hide one's true feelings with something completely opposite? Almost every time he'd snort and look away, occupying himself once more with his drink or meal.

If it weren't for her consistent persistence of being friendly towards him, he might have just stuck to doing secret off-the-board quests for the master, without making contact with any other members for the rest of his stay at Fairy Tail.

But her perseverance made him let up a little.

But now he's realized that the 'little' he let up was actually too much. He knew she still feared him. The non-physical scars that he left on her were invisible to everyone else, but only because they didn't notice when they were triggered. He wanted to stop it somehow. But more than anything, he wanted to know that how she _acted towards_ him was not being forced because of how he's seen her _react_ to him. He needed to know that her actions were absolutely honest and not just polite courtesy.

He had grown to love her. It took him months to admit it to himself. Even now, Gajeel was denying its continued existence. What was the point of being in love with someone you've physically beaten and trussed up? Where would it lead to but miserable rejection? The victim doesn't just return the offender's love without suspicion, some contempt, or dismissal. Gajeel already knew that he would not take kindly to Levy rejecting his feelings for her. He couldn't even imagine it. No, what he could imagine were her large brown eyes full of astonishment, maybe even hurt, believing him to be playing some dumb prank on her. She'd be speechless for a moment, her mind a blank book as it searched its vast archives of knowledge explaining, "Why else would he say such a thing to me?" And he'd stand there like an idiot waiting for a response he already expected. Something like, "G-Gajeel… I'm sorry, but there's no way I could feel the s-same way towards y-you." But she'd be kind and add, "B-but if you'd like, we could try to hang out for awhile?" Maybe walk through the market until sunset, watch a show, or something else just platonic.

And that's what nipped at him the most. If it so happens that she accepts the ridiculous notion that he'd want to be more than a friend and team partner to her… Would it only be because she was being nice and not because she actually felt the same way?

He'd rather keep to himself. But as things were… His tolerance to her trauma-induced ticks was wearing thin.

* * *

"Oi, Levy."

At first, she didn't respond, but once she marked her spot, the blue-haired mage looked up, "Gajeel?" she blinked a few times before looking to the left and right of him. And seeing no one else, her wide brown eyes looked into his red ones, "S-sorry, was that _you_?" It wasn't often he actually called her by name. She smiled.

The Iron Dragonslayer sat down across from her, elbow on the table as he propped his head up. He looked away from her and 'tsked', "I'm not tryin' to waste our time by makin' jokes," he started, his eyes scanning the guild. No one seemed to be paying any attention to them. Good. "but I need ya to be serious right now."

He looked at her then. Levy's shoulders leveled as she sat straighter, her mouth was set but her eyes were curious, "Okay. What's going on?" he had her whole undivided attention. And it made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

Gajeel looked away again, "Later, at seven, could ya meet me at the bridge before the port?"

"Are you going somewhere? Is it for a job?" she asked lightly, assuming he was going to tell her about a new quest. He saw how her form relaxed, and his blood boiled somewhat. She probably relaxed because the idea of him leaving for a while appealed to her. He shook his head, ridding himself of the thought and dismissing her question.

"I've got a bone to pick with you." His tone was harsh but quiet, he intended for only Levy to hear him, "And again, I want ya to take this seriously. We need to talk." And with that, he stood up and began to leave.

"G-Gajeel!" she began, her tone worried and confused.

But he didn't stop walking away.

* * *

Levy leaned against the stone railing with a sigh. She had gotten there a quarter early, as she didn't know what to expect, and Gajeel himself was already walking up to the bridge, not surprised that she was there already. He didn't want her to wait any more than was necessary. _He_ didn't want to wait anymore. Gajeel walked up to Levy and she stood up straight, a bright smile on her face, "I came a little early, that's fine, isn't it?"

He stared down at her for a moment. She looked nervous with her hands clasped tightly in front of her. He knew she was trying to figure out what this was all about, and she'd find out soon enough. Gajeel motioned her to follow him with a jerk of his chin, "Come on, Shrimp, let's walk to the park."

She frowned at the nickname and huffed when he took off without waiting for her. "Why did you ask me to meet you here then?" she asked after she caught up to him.

"I want to make sure we aren't being followed." He replied and set their walk to a quick pace. Levy's brows furrowed in confusion, but said nothing as she continued to walk next to him. After they passed a few shops, he slowed when he realized that his heavy footsteps were being accompanied by brisk small ones. Something inside him told him that he shouldn't wear her out by the walk. But it was a little difficult, as a tall person, to accommodate someone of such a short stature. He hadn't thought about it before, and immediately changed to a more leisurely pace while his senses remained alert for any lurkers.

Had Gajeel asked, Levy would have said that she was used to walking fast and that their original pace was fine. When you grow up being a little shorter than everyone else, you get used to putting more effort into mundane things like walking. You also get used to walking fast when one of your best friends and teammate's ability is speed. But Gajeel didn't ask and in the moment he had decided to slow down, Levy stepped ahead of him. She let out a quiet, "Oh!" from embarrassment and immediately fell back to Gajeel's adjusted stride.

"Tryn'a act like Speedy when you don't even know where we're going, Shorty?" He asked with a smirk.

She let out a huff, "I can't read your mind, Gajeel. There was no way for me to know that your legs got tired so quickly." And with that, she straightened her shoulders and clasped her hands behind her back, matching his casual walk next to him.

Her sudden sass actually made him grin. Being kept in the dark was aggravating. He was giving her a taste of her own medicine.

Levy didn't notice it however, suddenly engrossed in their surroundings as buildings slowly faded and more trees emerged. Her eyes would drift every which way, remark at an interesting colored tree or how the sky looked very beautiful so close to sunset. Gajeel would nod every now and then, mainly focusing on the fact that he couldn't hear anything that would indicate that they were being tailed. Once he was satisfied, he stopped in front of one of the many benches lining the path.

"Sit down for a sec, Levy."

Taking note of the use of her actual name, she said nothing as she sat down and looked up at him next to her. She was being patient with him about the whole thing so far, no questions asked or whining. Gajeel honestly wasn't much for surprises. It was a lot of work. _This_ in itself was taking more out of him that he wanted to admit.

Levy figured that, given time, Gajeel would explain himself for all of this. But she would not deny the strange and cautious tingle in her spine about being alone with him in the park. He was not exactly acting off, but he wasn't being friendly either. What he was doing was being bossy.

"Are you being honest with me?"

Her brows shot up. Gajeel had not sat down, but he wasn't looking down at her either. His gaze was far off ahead of them. When she didn't answer, he sighed and repeated the question, his tone slightly more irate. His hands balled into fists inside his pockets, and he felt sweat begin to form.

Levy crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't know what you're talking about specifically. But I don't lie to you, if that's what you're trying to get at, Gajeel." She said with a huff.

Then he looked at her, he red eyes serious, "Are ya scared of me?"

He watched as her head dipped and her eyes fell over her stomach. Then her head shot back up to Gajeel, realizing what she just did was clearly evident, "G-Gajeel. I—"

The dark haired mage turned away from her completely now, "I don't know the forbidden magic that would turn back time," he started, "and erase what our first meetin' was like. But by now, it should be obvious that I'm no enemy of yours. I never expected ya to talk to me or be friendly with me like ya are right now, but I'll tell ya," he took a breath and let it out, "I do appreciate it. But I don't want it anymore if you're just doin' it all to be nice and make sure I don't feel left out of the guild or whatever. I can live without having a group of people being buddy-buddy around me."

Gajeel was pretty sure that was the most he had ever said to the little script writer. He ground his teeth, hating himself for sounding so sensitive. And he was starting to feel even worse off when Levy's silence began to linger. He was just about ready to tell her to go home while he stomped off on his merry way when—

"Can you turn around and look at me, Gajeel? Please?"

He turned his head only because of the tone she used. When Levy spoke, she sounded annoyed and exasperated. She was standing, her hands on her hips and her eyes lit with a spark he couldn't look away from. So he slowly turned his whole body to face her.

"I don't treat our friendship like some common courtesy, Gajeel." Her anger could be heard then, "And I'm offended that you've ever thought it was just that. I know how hard you work and so does everyone else. It's not overlooked and put aside because of the things you've done back then."

He sneered at that last part and Levy stamped her foot down, "Don't act that way, you idiot!" she yelled. Her hands were balled into fists and held against her sides stiffly. Suddenly, tears emerged and she turned her head, trying her best to wipe them away quickly, "I've always been honest with you, Gajeel, and if that's all you wanted to know then I'm going home. You didn't have to bring me all that way over here just to know that I do value you as a guild member _and_ a friend. And even though I may react sometimes—" she waved one hand over her stomach, unable to think through her anger enough to properly speak, her other hand still wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop, "in a stupid manner, it's not against you. I really am over it, I just—"

Gajeel reached out and grabbed her elbow lightly before she could say anything more, "I brought ya here because I wanted ya to know that I don't want to hurt ya anymore." He told her solemnly, "But looks like I screwed that up already."

Physically, emotionally, and mentally Gajeel wanted nothing more but to make her happy now. It came as a surprise to him at how upsetting her just now twisted his iron heart in a painful manner. Every tear he saw run down her face was like a stab in his gut.

To his astonishment and horror, Levy shook his hand off her elbow and took a step away, her back now turned to him. His hand dropped and he opened his mouth to say something.

But what she said instead chilled him to his very core.

"I have nightmares about that day sometimes."

That was it. What was he doing here with her now? If anything, Gajeel ought to apologize for bringing her out here and leave her alone forever. His eyes snapped shut and his breathing became heavy. All it would take were some nice choice words for him to throw at her and she'd not spare him a second glance ever again.

"But you're not in them, Gajeel. You aren't in those nightmares."

His eyes opened and he stared at her back incredulously. What she said made no sense, and a spiteful laugh almost made its way out of his mouth, "How the fuck does that even work—

?"

She spun around, eyes livid, and her fists at her sides again, "I don't know, Gajeel, they're bad dreams, and dreams don't make much sense to begin with!" she stomped her foot once more, "Listen to me before you say anything else, okay?"

His mouth snapped shut and a few seconds passed. Levy evened out her breathing and looked at the ground. Her voice was steady and calm, but her arms shook so much that she had to hold them tightly to her chest, "I know that I'm practically helpless, I'm weak, I'm surrounded by people I want to help but _can't_." she sniffed, trying to stop her tears from flowing again, "There's this ache that comes and goes. But you aren't in the nightmares that sometime accompany it, Gajeel. It's just me, hating myself for how weak I am." Then her eyes looked into his and the tears took over again, "There are times when I see you look at me, I'm reminded of that. And I think to myself, 'he probably just sees a weakling'." She stomped her foot again and shook her head furiously, "But we're a part of Fairy Tail, and none of us are weak! That's why I keep trying to be friends with you, Gajeel. I want to prove it to you someday. And when you finally see it, I want you to be proud of me, to be proud with me! I don't want you to be impressed that I've stepped up to match you, that's not what I—"

Before she could go on, something inside Gajeel prompted him to step forward and pull her into a full embrace. His arms enveloped the entirety of her shoulders and head, and he gave her no room to resist as he closed the gap, pushing her head onto his chest, "You're plenty strong, Shrimp. You're pretty damn incredible, in fact."

She tried to push away from him, to squirm out of his grasp; her muffled words of denial becoming loud and erratic, but to no avail.

"Now I want to you listen to me, Shorty."

Levy let out an incomprehensible yell that should have most likely said, _But you didn't even listen to all of what_ I _had to say!_ And lifted an arm to whack him on the side.

Gajeel actually let out a surprised grunt at the motion, and then he immediately yelped out in pain, "Ow, what the fuck, Levy!?"

She had stomped on his foot when he didn't let her go. Done with the script mage's assault, an idea popped in his mind and Gajeel grinned. He opened his arms, only to deftly bend his knees, wrap his arms around Levy again—and stand.

Levy's face turned three shades of red. Her feet dangled in the air and Gajeel had her completely immobilized. "Gajeel!" she shrieked, effectively wiping the grin off his face as her voice pierced his ears, "Put me down right now or else I'll—"

"I like ya, Levy. You're a lot more than you give yourself proper credit for."

She froze, her eyes locking onto Gajeel's sharply. His own face sported a splash of pink and she suddenly felt her entire body heat up. Their faces were level, barely a foot apart, their bodies not apart at all, and he could feel her heart beat as quick as his own. Then their eyes looked away from one another.

Sure that she wouldn't say or do anything anymore, Gajeel cleared his throat and gently set her back down. He didn't want to say anything more, lest he grind out something unforgivably corny and horrendous.

The moment her feet touched ground and he released her, Levy's voice was quiet, "But I'm hardly anything up to your standards. I-I'm not strong like Erza, or l-like Juvia, or Lucy…" she trailed off.

Gajeel's eyes narrowed, "What would you know about _my_ standards? Why're you trying to compare yourself to—" he let out a long sigh and ran a hand through his hair before stuffing it in his pocket, "You know what, forget I said that. I get that it's the last thing you wanna hear from me—"

"No, Gajeel, I mean," their eyes locked once more and Levy shrugged before smiling, "you aren't just saying that out of courtesy are you? Because you think my friendliness comes with a price?"

Gajeel's face was now a proper red, and after several seconds, he adjusted his stance to glare at Levy evenly, "We're going to go back to the bridge and I'm going to throw you over the side, Shortstuff, I swear."

"Don't be stupid." But her smile didn't waver and Levy shook her head, "You should know, Gajeel," She started, all tension melting off of her, "I feel really happy right now." Gajeel blinked in confusion as she beamed at him, "Especially now that I can tell you, without fear that, I kind of like you too." And without waiting for his reply, she spun on her heel and walked briskly towards home.

Gajeel stood up straight and stared at the back of her head with a blank face. Then with a furious shake, he ran after her, "Oi! We're not done talking, ya Shrimp!"

This elated high, is this what it felt like to have no anxiety about being rejected? Was this unbridled happiness bursting in his chest something he deserved? Apparently Levy believed so, and that was all that mattered. Redemption doesn't come easy, but luckily for Gajeel, it appeared in the simplest form of an evening conversation.

End

* * *

 **Whew! So glad to get this story off my chest and out there into the world!**  
 **Please review and let me know how I did, what I could work on, if it was absolute trash-**  
 **Thank you for reading!**  
 **=^.^=**


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